A Hundred Quills
"Words.Words.I play with words, hoping that some combination, even a chance combination will say what I want" -Doris Lessing
Forever Young
Dearest Mamma
I write to you to talk of your untold and invisible loads, that I think, heavily weigh you down. Sometimes I wish I could carry them for you. In those moments I rush to give you a hug, but mostly I feel you are unwilling to pass them on to me. Maybe because you love your daughter so much that you never want her to go through the oppressive demands of life. And yet, today I feel the need to let you know that unknowingly you hand me down the burden to stay ‘forever young’.
No, you never tell me this in so many words. On the contrary you have often said that beauty is merely a perception and we must rise above the constraints of physical charm. I, too, would love to believe this and live free…Oh! So free.
But then, on some days when I see you harrowed by the grey streaks that line your temples, I begin to believe that it’s not beautiful to grow old. I fear that I may not be loved enough the day I sport those silver lines.
Only the other day you slammed a friend who body shamed another woman. I am so proud of you for doing that. But whenever you get on and off the weighing machine, I sense your discomfort. And I tell myself therein lies my worth.
You always compliment dadi for her graceful charm and there is this ‘grow old gracefully’ phrase that you often quote. But then, I also witness how a single crease on the face doubles your anxiety and you begin to search for home remedies to prolong what will eventually befall us all.
Mom, I don’t even think you realise that you carry this perceptible burden which takes away so much of that space in which you could breathe for being just you. You are quick to tell me that we mustn’t be judging people for the way they look. But I see you judging yourself, each day, as you peep into the mirror.
I grow watching you struggle to win this race against time. And it makes me think that I’m leaving my best years behind. Your songs of liberation sound sweet to my ears. But I know I will forget them very soon. What I will remember is how you lived, and the day you let go of this unseen burden that I call ‘forever young’ you will set both of us free!
Your darling daughter.
This post is part of #BlogchattersAtoZChallenge2019
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How true…but no matter how much we want to escape it… despite the fact that our mother went through it…. in time we go through the same routines and daily chores… There is no escaping it.
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I hope not, though!
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Finally, I found your blog. Been looking for it since you left a comment on my blog on my blogspot! Hahaha! Please do leave your post URL in your comments on the AtoZ posts yaar! 😛
This was a very meaningful letter. I have also often noticed how sometimes our elders preach one thing, but do the complete opposite, and as we get older, we get confused, whether to follow their words or their actions.
Very beautifully penned.
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Hi. Thanks for connecting. I’m unable to comment on blogspot for some reason. Also a newbie so taking a while. Though I’ll catch you on your fb page. Do stop by again.
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Such a great thought starter of a post! You got me thinking about a hundred different things. We indeed need to sit back and think about ageing logically instead of getting all worked up about a process we cannot stop.
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Yes Deboshree. I think it takes a lot of our energy for no good reason. Thank you for your thoughts.
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This is so profound. Often we don’t walk the talk without realizing how it affects those who look upto us. Loved this post.
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Thank you Sonia. Yes, indeed. We are often a lot of blabber without setting the right example.
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Lovely post Sonia! True, Mom’s love and care never wanes with the time. It remains forever young.
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Your writing is just out of the world! So creative 🙂 Wish you Good Luck Ma’am
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Thank you Shivani. Much love.
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😊🤗Sonia ypurveach post is so unique yet one can easily relate to it .. I enjoy reading each of it . Keep writing !!good luck
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Thanks Shubh
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Thank you Shubh
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