Dear Reader,
Welcome to the first Wednesday of the month, which is also the official IWSG Day. Please check the wonderful website of this supportive author community here.
I will skip this month’s question because there’s something else on my mind.
To begin with, a big thank you to all who have subscribed to this blog or follow me here. I also appreciate those who take the time to write back. With so many writers, authors and blogs, it’s gratifying to know that not all my words are lost. Being on this platform allows me to express myself, and I have enjoyed doing so year after year. Writing has been a passion since I was young, even though I never expected to pursue it as frequently as I do now. My father didn’t believe that one could have a career in writing, dancing, or acting. When I mentioned taking an acting course after college, he questioned if I intended to spend the rest of my life in Bata slippers and kurta pajamas! In other words, how do you intend to pay your bills? He was of a different generation, and success stories in creative fields are not common even today. However, it wasn’t something I had given much thought to because whenever I pursued a course or a hobby, it was mostly without a specific destination or goal in mind. If it was to be Bata slippers, so be it!
On another occasion, my father asked me why I had chosen a certain course, and my simple response was, “I’m interested in it.” He then asked, “What are you aiming at?” to which I hesitantly replied, “Well… ummm… learning?” While I did eventually enter the workforce (as an educator first and then a copyeditor), it wasn’t my primary concern at that time.
To put it mildly, my answer didn’t seem valid to him because we live in a goal-driven culture. Nevertheless, it’s true that I’ve spent a majority of my life without a clear goal, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t taken action. I’ve been constantly on the move. Perhaps that’s how I’ve managed to get some writing done. Writing is a process that I find enjoyable, and when I engage in it without any constraints, it truly feels liberating.
A WhatsApp chat in a writing group brought me to ponder deeply on this subject, and hence this post. Someone in the group shared a humorous editorial piece, which highlighted the prevalence of writers compared to readers. It playfully pointed out how many writers shamelessly promote themselves, becoming a constant presence in the lives of their friends and relatives. It was a tongue-in-cheek article that should have been met with laughter and then forgotten. However, instead of laughter, serious opinions flooded in. The article ruffled some feathers, caused bruises and heartburns. As someone in the group pointed out, when your goals aren’t taken seriously and your hard work is snubbed, it brings along self-doubt.
This made me reflect on whether it’s my thick skin or lack of a serious goal that has shielded me from the pain of being affected by the random opinions of strangers. Now, don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I spend my days lazily lounging on a hammock. On the contrary, I strongly believe that action is the key to realizing our full potential. As Viktor Frankl suggests, goals should not be pursued but should naturally emerge as a result of your action. I think I can safely call this my philosophy as well. So, when I go for a walk, I immerse myself in the act of walking, relishing the freedom of heading towards “somewhere”. It may not be the right destination for me, but the beauty is that I can always alter my path. I am not a tree, firmly rooted in one spot.
In my writing, I apply the same principle. I stand between two doors that lead me to the same destination, but the paths that unfold from each are different. One of them is longer and meandering. But I prefer it because it is not bound by that one destination.
And so, I give form to the multitude of thoughts that buzz incessantly in my mind. They patiently wait like tiny seeds longing to sprout. I wait for writing to flow from me, like a stream, to the best of my ability. Its ultimate destination will likely reveal itself when I least expect it. In those moments, when I’m not preoccupied with its results, it will perhaps surprise me. Until then, all I can do is take pleasure in the process, and save myself from the bitterness that comes with expectation.
How about you? Do you set goals? Are you easily flustered when others (read random others) don’t take your goals seriously?
And like every time, I’d like to share a beautiful poem by Olive Runner, that sums up my thoughts today.
FREEDOM
Give me the long, straight road before me,
__A clear, cold day with a nipping air,
Tall, bare trees to run on beside me,
__A heart that is light and free from care.
Then let me go! – I care not whither
__My feet may lead, for my spirit shall be
Free as the brook that flows to the river,
__Free as the river that flows to the sea.
The wonderful co-hosts for the February 7th posting are – Janet Alcorn, SE White, Victoria Marie Lees, and Cathrina Constantine! Thank you for co-hosting.
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A Hundred Quills 
I am a free spirit. When it comes to writing or reading, i do it just for the mere joy which it brings. Thats why, i am seldom seen on blog hops etc. Another reason may be, for some this will pay a bill. For me its just a hobby.
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I love to set goals. I’m especially fond when I can look back and see I’ve achieved them. Great post, Sonia! I’m so glad you persisted in what you wanted to achieve.
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Thoughtful post.
I like to write down my goals, but I seldom follow/chase them, unless I have a deadline (for me, deadline is the greatest motivator). It feels bad when people don’t take it seriously, but now I don’t let it fluster me (mainly because I’m not that disciplined when it comes to writing).
And that’s a lovely poem.
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Wow, what an amazing post, Sonia! So glad I read it. I have had a similar experience with family not understanding my creative path. I’ve been told by various well-meaning family members that I am “pie in the sky,” “living in la-la-land,” “away with the fairies,” and not a single one has ever taken it seriously. This is the burden we creative artists must live with and as you have done, use to make ourselves stronger. You go!
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This is such an inspiring post–thank you! For decades I really bought into hustle culture but always fell short of the ambitious goals I set. Now I’m exhausted and burned out, and I’m rethinking those approaches in all areas of my life. I too enjoy writing a lot more when there’s no pressure. Honestly, that’s true about most other things in my life. I get more done under pressure, but I no longer think that’s the primary goal in life. What’s the point of doing if you forget to be?
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Great post, Sonia. Yes, we don’t always know where we’re going, and sometimes our goals change, but the process, the journey itself, is what’s important.
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I’m not keen on SMART goals. I find the setting of them to be prescriptive, because I’m generally still working things. As you say, even when I have a destination in mind, when I try to squeeze myself into that type of thinking, it doesn’t feel like it’s coming from me but from some outside pressure. Unsurprisingly, I find myself dragging my feet along that path and making little (if any) progress.
A really interesting and thought-provoking post Sonia, thank you.
I’m just reading this month, and this has been a great start 🙂
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Thank you. I am glad you found this post interesting. I agree with the ‘outside pressure’ bit. Oh, how it feels like it’s someone else writing, and not me.
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The random opinions of strangers – Why fear that so much ? – and yet I do. This might be a legacy from high school, including the impossible Eng Lit classes, where we were supposed to identify the better of two poems, and only one answer was right..
Thanks for poem you shared.
So far, I’ve avoided joining any writing group, for the perfect reason, not an excuse. There weren’t any, and now, suddenly, there is, only twelve miles away. Women, mostly, I suspect, either super confident or hide in a corner people, like me. Hope there’ll be enough corners. .
Setting goals ? My grandparents’ (hands on carers) lives were very different. War removes so much choice.
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The legacies from our childhood can dictate so much of our adult life. I’m part of two writing groups and mostly I’m the ‘hide in a corner’ type.
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I can related in so many ways. Sonia, you’re inspiration. I hope you know that. Thank you for always making me think. Thank you for sharing your life and philosophy.
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Joylene, it is so kind of you to say this. I never thought I could inspire, but there you are. Thank you!
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Hi,
I truly understand the place you are at. No one can give you an answer. It’s a decision and your decision will not guarantee you worldly success but it doesn’t guarantee failure, either. You have to weigh both paths. Then, start walking the one you have chosen, accepting that you’ll never be able to go back, because things change, and you’ll never know how long it will take you regardless of the path you have chosen because that is not in your hands.
Have a lovely month.
Shalom shalom
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Thank you, Pat. Making choices is a tough job.
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I’ve not set a lot of goals in life. (I didn’t even want to be a writer!) Music and my career were definite goals but all else has been a bonus.
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Sometimes it works best that way, Alex.
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Our parent’s times were so very different. There were few choices when it came to careers other than traditional ones. This new generation has it easier both in the choices they get to make and also in that more parents these days respect their choices.
I haven’t set writing goals and yet it used to rankle when people didn’t take my writing-time seriously. Over the years I have learnt to let it go, though. Now I don’t much care for what others think.
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I guess that’s the only sane way to deal with it. Thanks for stopping by, Tulika.
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I don’t really have a big goal in regards to my writing. I enjoy writing but am not sure I want another career. I already had a successful one. If you enjoy what you’re doing and are staying busy like you say you are, I think that’s okay.
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It’s courageous to give up an established career to pursue something in the creative field. I appreciate your stance.
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The ironic thing for me is that I refused to major (or taken courses) in anything practical in college. Humanities all the way for me–yet that background served me very well in my professional career.
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In my part of the world, there’s a bias towards certain courses. Used to be, I guess still is. Thanks for being here, Liz.
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You’re welcome, Sonia. Since the cost of higher education in the US has skyrocketed, there is now a bias against “impractical” courses of study.
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You have to be brave enough to accept what comes with each choice. I guess that’s the only way you can defend your choices.
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When I was advising, I saw the other end of the spectrum. People who had done the practical career preparation thing, come to find it empty and meaningless, and now wanted a degree in one of the helping professions.
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Oh yes, this is so prevalent now. It’s so unfortunate that we must choose. For it’s our choice that makes ‘all the difference’.
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It certainly does.
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This so resonated with me, Sonia. A few friends keep asking me if I am getting my poems published and I keep telling them that there is no market for poetry books here. If one can read poems for free, why would anyone buy books. But this I say in my personal context only.
What you have written about your father also resonated. That is the reason why humanities as a subject is not favoured by most parents.
The journey, for me, is as important as the destination. One has to enjoy what one is doing to be able to take it to a desired end.
I do hope to hold your book in my hands one day soon. ❤️
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You have a good head on your shoulders, Punam. Thank you for stopping by.
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My pleasure, Sonia. I am a big fan of your writings.
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