Dear Reader,
The search for self, the need to understand who we are and the purpose of our lives, are some of the things that continue to confound humankind. In this search we scale mountains, unravel secrets of the universe and try to embark on an inner journey–just some of the things I can enlist about this collective quest.
On a personal front, I haven’t been good at it. So, when Namratha came up with the fourth poetic adventure on ‘Self-portrait’ (please click on the link here), I knew I had nothing to say. I’ve never been sure if how I look or talk or what I do are enough to define who I am, for all of these have arisen out of a need for dissimulation of the real me.
If my portrait was to have a frame, it would be one without edges–perhaps a circle because one, it identifies with the shape of my face, and two, only a frame without a beginning or an end can best define me. Most likely.
If I were to fill it up with images, they’d come close to being an amorphous, pulpy lot of the lives I carry inside me, but again, which aren’t my specific portrait. If anything, I’m not confined to my name/s, work, place/s, or people. I wish my poem could reflect the sharp image of a complete person. But for now, I’m just a hybrid of the lives I’ve lived and until I am able to say more definitively about myself, this portrait will remain an illusion, a giant nebulous, as I call it.
Before I share my poem, you may visit Poetic Adventure Week 4 for some beautiful self portrait poems. In her own attempt, Namratha gives us a preview into what’s shaped/shaping her- the past, future, present. I really loved the metaphor of the river and boat, where her thought aligns with mine about the eternal quest for the self. I think her words partially inspired me in putting down my own thoughts, as have those of an author I admire deeply.
And now, here’s my attempt at writing a self-portrait (after Jhumpa Lahiri).
HYBRID IN A FRAME
a goraiya lost in time
grey mist caught between pines
what sound does a mountain make? silence
beneath the rush, rush, rush
few names earned–teacher/mrs/ma/dost/poet
what’s hard to understand? a riddle
out of focus in a morning prayer
recited on a long pilgrimage of wool-gathering
what’s a vacant gaze into life called? a giant nebulous
fills a round frame, the shape of me
somewhere in between the spaces of this poem
what’s a mirror that reflects nothing called?
***
Thank you, for reading. See you next week!
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This is beautiful, Sonia. I love the title which behaves as an additional line to the poem but also these as I read so much more into them:
“what sound does a mountain make? silence”
“few names earned–teacher/mrs/ma/dost/poet”
“somewhere in between the spaces of this poem”
I love this poetic adventure! I’ll definitely be following it 🌸
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“what sound does a mountain make? silence” is the line that spoke to me, as well.
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That is the one line in this entire poem that sort of encapsulates aspects of me. I’m glad it resonates. Thank you, Liz.
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You’re welcome, Sonia.
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Thanks Nina. I’m so glad you’re following this closely. I’m enjoying it immensely and it’s always encouraging when fellow poets join in and add their thoughts.
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You’re welcome! ☺️
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You set me to thinking. What sort of frame/shape would I choose to “try” to define me. Hmm. And who am I anyway?’ I’ve been categorized in so many different ways, and yet, do any of those niches capture who I am? I always enjoy my visits because I leave with questions and I love trying to answer them.
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Thank you Lee, I’m so glad there’s something for you here. I’d love to know the frame you’d choose.
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I came up with this: My frame would be oval because I love the shape. It has an elegance to it, and I admire elegance above glamour. The frame would be Sterling silver without any filigree. Plain is practical and I like simplicity.
Thanks again for your poetry. You give me something to look forward to.
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Elegance and simplicity are my favourite people. Thank you for sharing this, Lee.
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The Pro
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Oh my. What a challenge. And you’re up to it like three pro that you are. So impressed my lovely. Keep it up. You are more MORE !! Bless you. Giant Nebulae or MORE. 🤗
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Thank you, Selma. Those are very kind and encouraging words. I’m glad that you’re enjoying this poetic adventure.
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Had to look up goraiya..but once I did…love the opening lines…the sound of the mountain and the empty mirror reflect each other, in a way.
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I realise I should have mentioned it. Thank you for this, the opening is only how far I can get to myself. The sound of the mountain is the sound I associate/would like to associate with myself. I am glad you see some sort of connect because I felt I was running in various directions. Thank you, Rajani.
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Beautiful poem, Sonia.
Sometimes, all it takes is a moment, and sometimes, even a lifetime is not enough to understand oneself.
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Thanks Sudeepa. Yes, sometimes the epiphany happens in a moment.
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“what’s a mirror that reflects nothing called?”
WOW!! I’m in awe! What lines, what a self-portrait! Like an exploration in a maze where all the walls are familiar yet strange.
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Thank you, Manisha. You’ve said it better than me. If I am to revise this poem, I’ll borrow your words.
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Haha! If you do, I’m sure you’ll make them better!
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Wonderful ♥️
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Thank you 🌸🌸
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I too agree that the purpose of life is to understand who we are. I believe once we understand our true selves, everything else falls into place. Loved your poem. Waiting to come back once again next week. Have fun!
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Thank you, Balaka. I’m so touched and grateful. I hope to connect more often.
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