Posted on by Sonia Dogra

I’ll Do Me – Reading Charles Bukowski

Dear Reader,

I love writing to you because we can always pick up where we left off, no matter how much time has passed. It’s as if we’ve never been out of touch. I want to express my gratitude for your support of the poem ‘Everything Will Be Alright‘. It means so much to me. While we’re on the topic of poetry, I must confess that I’ve developed a near obsession with Charles Bukowski’s poems in recent weeks. It all started with a conversation I had with my son about a debut author who fabricated reviews for other debut authors, which caused a huge controversy. In response, my son quoted Bukowski’s famous line, “people are not good to each other”. That quote sparked my curiosity, and I spent the rest of the day immersed in reading all three versions of The Crunch repeatedly.

When I was well into the second phase of my writing journey, I read Bukowski’s “So You Want to Be a Writer“. It had been over a decade since I had last delved into poetry. Returning to it, I adopted an approach that mirrored my fiery college days. I wasn’t involved in writing circles and did not know of the dos and don’ts. The concept of ‘killing your darlings’ and ‘enhancing forms’ meant little to me, and I paid no attention to reader statistics.

After two years, I had incorporated various elements into my writing journey. I joined WhatsApp writing groups, became part of an online writing community, and delved into books on writing. Along the way, I crafted numerous poems, dabbled in flash fiction, and produced several short stories. Additionally, I accumulated a wealth of writing advice. Reflecting on this vast accumulation, I can only sum it up in one word – Phew!

Being a writer in today’s world is not an easy task. I often wonder if it is even possible to write with abandon, to surrender to our creative impulses without being confined by the expectations of the market. How can one create when there seems to be a rulebook dictating what is acceptable and what is not?

Bukowski’s statement, “I don’t like rules and authorities”. is something I truly appreciate about him. It can be interpreted in various ways, but I personally believe he is advocating for creative freedom. Rules, in my opinion, have the potential to stifle imagination and artistic expression. I find it difficult to comprehend the purpose of rules in art, but I understand that this perspective may be unique to me. I know many writers who are able to create beautiful and meaningful writings within a given framework.

Charles Bukowski’s ideas on writing, as expressed in his book ‘On Writing’, resonate strongly with my own approach. One of his interesting insights that I would like to share is… Thank you for lessening the blow on my weakness of grammar by mentioning that some of your college friends have trouble with sentence structure. I think some writers do suffer this fate mainly because at heart they are rebellious and the rules of grammar like many of the other rules of our world call for a herding in and a confirmation that the natural writer instinctively abhors.

It is ironic that both of my jobs, first as an English teacher and now as a copyeditor, have heavily focused on grammar. I must mention that my second job has sometimes exposed me to writing that is grammatically offensive (did I just coin a new term?). However, despite the discrepancies, the writers have mostly managed to preserve the spirit of their writing.

One particular writer, whose captivating work I had the pleasure of editing, reached out to me regarding my observations, which were often technical and related to language. “I’m a writer,” he declared. “If I were to worry about these things, I’d rather be an editor”. Although I am unsure how many writers would agree with him, I couldn’t say much because his storytelling skills were impressive. Naturally, I also had a job to defend.

When it comes to Bukowski and his perspective on grammar, despite facing immense criticism, his work continues to be widely read by many people. Personally, he inspires me to write fearlessly, embracing wild and impulsive writing that allows my emotions to flow freely, unburdened by expectations or rules. This liberation from conforming to a standardized writing style and fitting into a box is truly empowering. In fact, I have decided to make it my writing goal for 2024 – to write authentically, without worrying about fitting into a predetermined mould. This realisation struck me during a conversation with a friend about the pressures of conforming in writing, leading me to adopt the mantra of “I’ll do me”. This phrase will serve as a reminder to fully enjoy and embrace this incredible form of creative expression.

As I continue to ponder how to achieve this objective, I have decided to conclude this year with a reading of Bukowski’s “Christmas Poem to a Man in Jail” which aptly sums up this post. Originally, I had intended to read “The Crunch” but circumstances prevented me from completing that post. In the meantime, the “Christmas Poem” has started to resonate with me more profoundly. Its liberating conclusion and subtle defiance of judgment have left me with a smile on my face.

This is my first time reading on the blog, and I understand I have a long way to go . However, even in its current state of plain reading, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I would like to quote some of my favourite lines from the poem here before you listen to the audio,

  1. but I’m not defending my work (to you or to him)

I’m defending my right to do it in the way

that makes me feel best.

I always figure if a writer is bored with his work

the reader is going to be

bored too.

  • we all go on with our things.

we all go on with our lives.

we all write badly at times

or live badly at times.

we all have bad days

and nights.

  • (the dead have no future, no past, no present,

they just worry about commas)

I also want to express my gratitude to Elizabeth Gauffreau for inspiring me to embark on this journey. She has a fantastic and captivating blog that you can check out here.

I hope you will enjoy listening to Christmas Poem to a Man in Jail . I urge you to read the poem here. You will certainly enjoy it. See you next year!

Christmas Poem to a Man in Jail by Charles Bukowski

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25 Replies to “I’ll Do Me – Reading Charles Bukowski”

  1. Hi Sonia – yes people can be so wonderfully helpful and caring, as are our online friends … while Liz Gauffreau is really helping with your writing voice … so pleased for you.

    I belong to a group with at least one poet in it … I must ask them about Bukowski … I’ve placed an order in the library for Bukowski’s ‘Post Office’ … a relevant topic due to some appalling behaviour by a scandal ridden tech supplier (Horizon) to the PO here in the UK, probably irrelevant in this instance. I’ll be interested to read it – cheers Hilary

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  3. Sonia, I love your voice. Thanks for sharing with your readers.
    I love this from your blog post:
    “I often wonder if it is even possible to write with abandon, to surrender to our creative impulses without being confined by the expectations of the market. How can one create when there seems to be a rulebook dictating what is acceptable and what is not?”

    Yes, I wish writing was like it was when those writers we love wrote the classics. They were allowed to ramble, go slow, write lovely descriptions, lack action and conflict at times…that’d do me!

    A great post..

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  4. Thank you, your poetry is wonderful. And I also write exactly what I want to write. But in this world, if you want to make money writing, you kneel at the altar of conformity. I’ve not been able to do that.
    So cool to catch up! Love it!

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  5. You have such a musical voice, Sonia! Loved listening to you.
    I have read Bukowski and admire him a lot. But I have not read him the way you have. Thanks for the in depth insights. ❤️
    I can understand the constraints faced by writers these days, though I am not facing them as I have not given a thought to be published. 🙂

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  6. Hi, first and foremost, I loved your audio.

    I have been in the same thought process lately. My questions to myself are more like- are you even a writer? If so, who is reading your work? And if they are reading it, are they understanding why or why not you are following the rule book.
    I do understand where you are coming from, so can we really be creative then?

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    1. Thanks Moushmi. I don’t see writing as a vocation. I don’t want to. Even if it’s the only thing I know. Thank goodness for my day job! Writing without the burden of proving myself is the only way I can enjoy the process. Now if that means I’m not a writer in the conventional sense of the word, well, then so be it.

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  9. What a treat this post was, Sonia! I confess that I haven’t read Bukowski, but I certainly enjoyed your reading. I am not very good at following rules, but since they seem to pop up in our creative world at a very fast pace, maintaining “creative freedom” is an ongoing challenge. I need this reminder, so thank you for it today.

    I’m moving from WordPress to Substack. Here’s my new address: https://substack.com/@cleemckenzie

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  12. How wonderful to hear your voice, Sonia! You read Bukowski’s poem beautifully. As you read it, I believed it, which is as good as a reading gets. And thank you for the shout-out!

    I found your discussion thought-provoking–and a little sad, particularly this paragraph:

    “Being a writer in today’s world is not an easy task. I often wonder if it is even possible to write with abandon, to surrender to our creative impulses without being confined by the expectations of the market. How can one create when there seems to be a rulebook dictating what is acceptable and what is not?”

    As an undergraduate, I was taught to focus on my craft and not even think about the marketplace. We were given writing conventions that could help us realize our fictional vision, whatever it might be. Our prof was very clear that when it came to writing fiction (and, by extension, poetry) there are no rules, just conventions that are effective in most cases. As he said, “You can do whatever you want–as long as you can get away with it.” In other words, if you could get the reader to suspend disbelief, go for it!

    As a grad student, there was little room for anything but a very conventional, narrow type of literary fiction. When I finished the degree, I was so done with workshop. Never again.

    I would add, that the problem with the tsunami of writing advice on the internet is that it doesn’t take into account the writer’s vision–her “fiction dream.” It has devolved into a series of “thou shalt nots” presented as rules.

    Sorry for preaching. This whole “writing rules” business touches a nerve.

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    1. Liz, thank you for the words of encouragement. More than that, for showing the way with your posts and readings. I think I will really enjoy doing this.
      I am so glad you shared your thoughts related to the post. Your professor’s words, remind me of something similar. I didn’t do a writing course. But in school and later in college, I was lucky to have teachers who used to write and encouraged anyone with the same spark. One of them had told me something similar. There’s not a right or wrong way to do it, as long as the reader is convinced. I will always remember your words… if you can get the reader to suspend disbelief, go for it.
      You are also on point about the “thou shalt nots” presented as rules. This is exactly what I also intended to say.
      At the end of the day, I feel I realise the kind of writer I am, and would like to take this journey forward in my own unabashed way. Each year brings a new lesson.
      I am so grateful for this exchange and for discovering you in this journey. Thank you. With your permission I would like to quote you when I mention this post. Please let me know if it’s okay with you.

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  13. A wonderful post, Sonia. I also love reading Bukowski, though I probably haven’t read as much of him as you have. Now I really want to read his book on writing! Thanks for letting us know about that 🙂

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